Clash of Hopes
by KaiSaeren
Summary: A happy ending for Akane and Junpei after the true ending of 999, because they really deserved one :) Spoilers for the game and true ending of course.


Bit of explanation for you first, btw, huge spoilers of course for true ending of course. Throghout the story of 999 I never had the feeling that Akane enjoyed or wanted any of this, I know that some people disliked her character and her reasons to become a Zero, as it was basically to save her own life, but I dont think that was quite it. I always took it as part of the bigger picture, imagine that these two people have connection that basically lets her travel in time, imagine the reprecussions of that, the potential. Not only she was technically not "alive", until Junpei would save her in the future, she wanted to punish the people responsible for potentionally ruining so many lifes. But most importantly the timeline needed to be finished, I doubt that Akane wanted to be Zero when she was just a little kid and she must have been shocked when she discovered that in future she would be, but she couldnt know what would happen if she did not follow her chosen future to its end. Whenever time travel, timelines and continuum is involved, it naturally becomes a big mess. That being said, what I took from the story most were Akane's feelings for Junpei, I mean, c'mon, the girl game back for her gift for him (which was really stupid of her btw) in a middle of a death game. Their connection was stronger than, that of any siblings included in the experiment and it traveled not just across distances, but time as well. I may have embelished feelings that Junpei had for her, as I have only finished the first game, I have no idea if it actually can be true or not, but I would like to think that he was in love with her the whole time too. Anyways, poor Akane had it rough, spending most of her teenage life in sort of hiding, preparing the game she didn't want to happen ever again, keeping away from the person she wanted to be with the most, always wondering if she was actually alive, or just a projected version of her younger self. Tough life. She deserved a happy ending, the Akane I got to know through the story told would never actually run away from her Junpei.

With all that out of the way, I hope someone enjoys this! :) And please ignore the grammar errors, I will likely correct them later on :)

The clash of hopes

It's a funny thing, thinking you are content with the lot you have been given in life, however little they are, setting your mind and body against expectations, your own expectations of life, future, and love. It's a sad thing, condemning yourself to an undeserved fate, outlawing yourself to an ending with very limited happiness.

That's what I thought I accepted - I had accepted my fate and I grew to enforce this self-inflicted prison. I had hoped to never meet him again; after all, nothing was the same as back then, nothing could ever have been the same after the day I was kidnapped. Kanny/Jumpy, Akane/Junpei, June/Five.

How was someone like me expected to show up beside him again? I have done despicable things in the name of revenge, put forward plans for murder, landed people in prison, endangered the innocent, even those dear to me, even those who had already suffered more than enough, and almost bankrupted a mighty organization, putting thousands out of work.

Maybe, for some it might be hard to imagine why I would feel ashamed, why I fould feel unworthy of standing beside him again, but in my mind it was clear. I shamelessly used the person I loved the most in the world to perpetrate those things and most importantly, to save myself. I led him as best I could to the last trial, and in turn, he succeeded and saved my life. I was Zero, in both number and meaning, no matter how much I despised it, or how much it still shocked me.

All the words I have said, in this timeline or past, all the thoughts I had but kept bottled up, all the yearning I had resisted, it was all true and pure as the day I was taken. He was the one thing that kept me going, he showed me a possible future as I led his steps through it and so I wished for nothing more than for his happiness, for him to never suffer again. At my selfishness, at my ugliness, at my change. As much as he would always remain my Jumpy, I could only be Zero to him from now on.

Then why? Why do I still feel his own thoughts as my own, his dreams? Why does his hope so strongly opposes mine?

I remember stepping for a moment on the roof of building Q in the desert, momentary shock and dissapointment filled my mind. No, it was his and even being miles away I could not ignore his thought processes. I saw him as he smiled at me, almost feeling myself running next to him on the stairs to the roof and then, the shock of discovery at where they were, almost immediately followed by a sinking, shocked feeling upon not seeing me there. I saw myself standing just a few steps away, smiling with with the sun at my back and I almost heard him whisper "Kanny". But I was not there, Kanny would never be again.

Six months later, Akane sat down flat on the second step of the staircase leading to an apartment building near the outskirts of Shibuya. She buried her head in her arms out of exasperation and exhaustion as much as out of sadness and desperation. She was at the end of her rope, breaking apart.

Contrary to her expectations and unlike in the past, she could not separate herself from Junpei no matter how much she focused, how much she tried. Every day, she heard his increasingly desperate pleas for her attention. He didn't know if she could hear him and that tore her apart the most. In the grand scheme of things, half a year is but a fleeting moment, even in one's life half a year is forgettable. You only realize how long it takes, when every single day is a battle against your innermost desires.

She always thought she knew Jumpei, the gentle boy who sat two seats infront of her and bit his nails when he was bored. He never thought girls had cooties or made fun of them. Mild tempered and warm, he loved animals, behaved childishly even by her immature standards and dreamt of a calm, easy and happy life. Even while most of the boys his age wanted to be heroes, to Akane he already was one: someone to lean on and trust in. Little did she know, just as she never forgot him, in the most trying times or during the nonary game, or in what little life she had after it. He hadn't forgotten her, ever.

You can say that childhood crushes don't last, and at that she would protest. After all, she was still in love with the boy she had a crush on since elementary school. Boys being boys, she always expected to only remain a small memory in Junpei's mind, a remembrance of simpler, happier times. But he was not just any boy, he was her Jumpy and there was a reason their connection went beyond even that of siblings, traversing even time and space.

The messages coming to her mind were simple the first few days, in amidst the chaos of getting back to his life, putting his affairs in order, speaking to the police and making sure all the survivors were alright. All she got most of the days were scattered thoughts of sending love and best wishes, images of longing to meet her, expressions of worry for her safety.

June was prepared for all of that. She knew she would have to leave him behind, even if she could not stop their connection. This was alright, she knew, she hoped that this would come. She knew she was precious to him and that was all the more a reason to keep her determination, to not waver. Zero would never step into his life, ever again.

Soon after Junpei began to search for her, she knew that this would be the case, as he was always extraordinarily stubborn, but somewhere along the simple outside search he started looking inside too. Speaking to her through his mind as if he knew she was there he couldn't have possibly, but it didn't stop him. He put himself in somewhat high adrenaline, slightly dangerous situations such as crossing the street with red lights on at a daily basis, as if to probe her. And with every such excursion he would sent out more of himself. Akane wasn't looking, she couldn't be, but she felt it and heard it nonetheless.

She first cried as he read her some of the returned mails he sent to her after she moved away. She sniffled in the street at the story about how he went to visit the orphanage that she and Aoi grew up in, just to get information on where to find her. She openly bawled her eyes out, as he recalled her of all the crazy things he ended up doing in high school. Getting caught blowing the biggest gum bubble in the middle of the class was such a Jumpy thing to do. The first telling he ended remembering how he declined the only girl that asked him out during high school. He told himself then that he had no particular reason, but sometimes lying to yourself is the easier route to go, and Akane knew. All the other stories ended up with him slowly falling asleep in the evenings, with his thoughts all over the place, speaking of rabbits, voodoo dolls and smiles by the sunset.

Akane sat up eyes were tired and watery, and climbed up the few stairs to the see through doors leading into the building. In a moment of proud rebellion akin to blowing a 15 cm bubble in the middle of a school class, she pushed all the doorbells one by one, not answering anyone who spoke, until the buzzer beeped loudly, letting her into the building interior.

When the treasury of his so called interesting moments was depleted, he suddenly turned to a more wishful thinking and thoughts of little embarrassing nature. Whether on purpose or unconsciously, she saw his mind images, no longer able, or wanting to not see them. Full of stars and beautiful colors they were, nature, green and wild, yellow and subdued, white and calming, with both of them always there as shadowy, oily images. She saw him waking up at night, even in his college years, soaked in sweat and tears, half-scared out of his mind and half-desperate for that something missing.

As Akane climbed the stairs to a floor with a room number she already knew, her legs were refusing to listen. She was supporting herself on a nearby handrail, the whole world was getting increasingly blurry as the first drops of liquid made an almost ink-like black drop on the dirty floor. Everything else was also fuzzy: her determination, her reasoning, her hope of never seeing him again. Why was it that she wished for any of those again? The weight of her own decisions, weighing her down with strength of a world. Whether right or wrong, she had no choice in her "decisions", much more than just her life was always on the line.

The moments that perchance touched her heart most were those unconscious ones, the moments of innocent love that she truly did not believe existed. But if she felt it, why couldn't he? So what if she was different than how he remembered her? He still loved her, right? If nothing else, she was sure of that. The lamp on his table provided just enough light to show the left side of the Christmas card that would never be delivered, on the right side lay Junpei's face with drool coming out of his mouth. She swore she could hear him snoring. He would sometimes smile and nuzzle his pillow with his nose, breathing her name while kissing it where its brow would be. And than suddenly, he would remember Akane when he was about to bite into his apple that he brought for snacks (Akane means big read, or something of the sort) and put it back into his pack, he himself confused as to why.

Everyday for the last 185 days she discovered something new about the person she thought she knew, about the person she thought she already loved as much as it was possible. About the person who saved her against all odds, nothing short of magic. About the person she used to hope would forget her. Childhood crushes rarely last, but people fated for each other always find a way, and what else other than fate was this? Even now she could feel his thoughts as he was stirring something in a small pot with an iron spoon, the spoon was getting increasingly hot and the food looked dubious at best, she didn't understand why he simply didn't use the wooden one above the counter. She almost reached out for it to help him out, but remembered she was not there. There were still a few steps left...

Her heart was racing against her chest, rebelling just as wildly as her legs and hands, going against something she promised herself she would never do. But than again, Kanny always was a selfish person. If nothing else, she always wanted to keep at least Jumpy to herself. Tears were freely streaming down her cheeks, in such a volume it was almost impossible to see, but she continued.

Junpei set the pot on the hot oven, turned to leave his small kitchen, his eyes squarely locked on the doors.

"Akane...?" He tried tentatively.

The corners of her mouth curled up in a smile. It didn't matter if she did not see him again, even less so her reasons. He would never let her go, he would never forget her or leave her. Being selfish is okay if their selfishness brings them together. In the hopes of keeping him safe, in the hopes of saving his image of her, in the hopes of allowing him to live the happy life he dreamt of she decided to stay away. She came to an agreement, she was determined and prepared. And in the clash of hopes, all of hers stood no chance against his hopes of seeing her again.

She extended her hand and before even knocking, the doors emblazoned with number 5 opened.

She knew she must have been quite the repulsive sight, shivering and covered in tears with red eyes and a dirty face.

"I'm h-home," she announced shakily.

But to Junpei she was the most beautiful sight he ever opened door to.

"Welcome home, Kanny," he breathed into her ear as he enveloped her into a tight hug, giving her all the support, warmness and energy she would ever need.

She may have been Zero on her own, with a number of infinite possibilities, she could have chosen any fate she would wish. But deep in her heart she always knew she had always wanted to be a five.


End file.
